This past weekend was one of those bittersweet occasions when the joy and excitement of doing something meaningful for God, family and friends was tempered by the edginess of financial insecurity and the persistent fear of possible ruin.
Throughout the weekend I had an incredible sense that the Father was with me as I walked the tightrope between where I am and where I want to be, occasionally glancing downwards at the frightening rocks and billows below.
During the long, dark night on Saturday, God was dealing with my heart and graciously reminding me that I’m never out of His care or His sight. What a precious sense of His presence and His providential care! Normally terror would have been my dreaded companion but during the night watches I could trace God’s hand as He dealt with my pain.
A reflective piece of prose or poetry kept coming to my mind as I threw myself into the Father’s arms.
Today (Monday) I hesitate to post this for fear that you, my readers, friends and fellow pilgrims, might think that I have finally “arrived”. That I have actually “got it”. That I’ve turned the corner. I wish I could say that I have but I know that there are many more mountains to cross, valleys to stumble through and deep, churning waters to navigate.
Here, then, is what I penned over the weekend. Verses two and three came to me this morning. Please note that the place I’m in hasn’t changed. It’s only my perspective that has…my understanding of a sovereign God’s dealings with His perplexed servant. As we understand Him aright, He can turn the valley of Baca into a refreshing stream. May it be so for each of us as we trust His heart.
Teetering on the precipice
O God…don’t let me slip…
Just above the murky mire
Begging You to take me higher
...Free me from this hellish place
...Where darkness hides Your radiant face.
Father as I contemplate
Reviewing where I am…
This is not what I’d have planned
But I’m held by Your strong hand
...Keep me in this scary place
...Where all I have is sovereign grace.
Learning here to trust Your heart
With nothing left but You…
The vain things that charmed me most
Gradually have all been lost
...Lord I love this sacred place
...Where we commune now…face to face.
- David Fisher
1st verse – April 14th, 2007
2nd & 3rd verses – April 15th, 2007
Note: This post should be read in conjuction with the revelations made in my recent post entitled FAITHFUL FRIENDS in mind.